The Cream of the Crop

It’s incredible to believe that I’m merely 10 days away from being done with teaching. And only 11 days away from lounging on a Thailand beach, shamelessly sipping some girly cocktail with an umbrella in it, and enjoying doing absolutely nothing. Yet the closer I come to my last day, the more the shocking realization sets in that I will never see these people ever again.  Not just my friends and co-workers, but also my students. And so with this post, I’ve decided to do something that is long over-due—honor my favorite students.

Alvin—E6, Step Ahead level 14:

Alvin is a favorite for a number of reasons. For one, he’s incredibly intelligent. Yet he isn’t cocky, arrogant, or an attention-whore. When I ask a question, Alvin first looks around to make sure no one else is raising their hand before he volunteers to answer. A while back our class learned “genius”, and so since then I’ve started calling Alvin our genius—which still embarrasses him every time. 

But I have plenty of hard-working and smart students. What really separates Alvin from the pack is the fact that he is a notorious Yankees fan. Almost everything he owns, from his t-shirts to his pencil box, is Yankees memorabilia. He isn’t the typical fair-weather Taiwanese Yankees fan either, who only follows because once-upon-a-time Taiwanese native Chien Ming-Wang pitched for them. He’s hardcore, as in he watches every game he can, follows them online, and is clearly invested emotionally in their performance. Because of this, during almost every break during E6 class, Alvin and I discuss baseball. Admittedly, most of the time is spent with me bashing on the Yankees and talking some good ole-smack. In fact, about a month ago when the A’s were on the verge of sweeping the Yankees, I was at full throttle. All Alvin could do was shake his head and say “teacher, Coco Crisp is good.” Of course when the A’s got pounded 22-7 in game 3 of that series, avoiding Alvin’s wrath was impossible. Yankees fans always are relentless.

Benson-T8, Treehouse Level 2:

Benson is without-a-doubt my most infamous student. If any of you are looking for a good story once I’m home, just mention this kid’s name. Benson is the typical student who pains you to no end inside of the classroom, but you love outside of the classroom. The kid is enthusiastic, hilarious, and is definitely going to break some hearts some day. At first, having Benson in my Pre-ACP class literally drove me to the bottle. The kid wouldn’t get anything done, and he proved to be a major distraction. But over time I came to love this kid’s personality. One day when throwing the sticky-ball, he did a Hideo Nomo wind-up (especially shocking considering he hadn’t even been born when Nomo was around). One day, using his incredibly limited English, Benson nevertheless tried to explain the “America movie” he just saw. After realizing he couldn’t find the words he wanted, he simply decided to act it out—and I mean really act it out. After about 30 seconds I realized he was talking about Captain America, but I was too overjoyed by this impromptu charades performance that I let him go on undisturbed for at least 2 minutes before I told him I understood what movie he was talking about. Lately, because of one our English teachers being on vacation, schedules have been rearranged and sadly I haven’t taught his class as often. Every day when he asks me “teacher, today is you?” (are you teaching today?) and I tell him “no”, he folds his arms, stomps on the ground, and gives me an angry look. When I had to walk into his classroom right before class started to grab some books, he mauled me like a wild tiger and wouldn’t let go. Which is something he’s been known to do (see below).

Dora­­-T8, Treehouse Level 2 :

Also in Benson’s class is Dora. Dora is especially young, and she only joined T8 about six months ago. I still remember the first day she showed up to class, holding her mom’s arm for dear life and looking terrified at me, the tall white guy. As is the case with all students, there was an adjustment period where Dora had to conquer her fear of me and come to like me as a teacher. As it turns out, it seems to have done more than that. Somehow within that first month or so, I went from being Dora’s formidable, scary-looking English teacher to the equivalent of her father. During class, when I’m walking around helping students with their workbook exercises, I’m regularly pulled away by Dora—who, instead of raising her hand and waiting, decides it’s best to just grab me and walk me over to her desk. And the thing is, instead of being annoying, she’s adorable that I can’t help but find it cute. Dora and her fellow classmate Sherry have also recently started smacking my butt, which they obviously find hilarious. One day when Joanna, my Chinese teacher, saw this, she tried to scold them while also trying not to laugh. “Whattt??? Is Teacher Andrew your father??”, she jokingly asked, to which they naturally giggled and replied in the affirmative. From a cuteness standpoint, Dora ranks no. 1 among all my students. How can you not love this face?

precious

Benson taking me somewhere imporant, and Dora once again mistaking me for her father.

Katrina-T3, Treehouse Level 7:

Katrina is definitely the sweetest student I have, and perhaps the most driven student—undoubtedly due to the fact she is actually Teacher Joanna’s daughter. Among all the teachers at Hess, Katrina is a favorite. Being several grades younger than her classmates hasn’t stopped her from being one of the best students. Regardless of whether or not we’re teaching her that day, Katrina always drops by our desks to talk to us. And she doesn’t do it in the annoying way some students do it, where they simply say our name and poke us. Katrina will give her best effort to have a genuine conversation with us. And as I’ve mentioned before, Katrina has an almost insatiable desire to learn. As part of the Treehouse curriculum, I’m required to teach Math every 3 or 4 classes. Because she’s much younger than the other students, Teacher Joanna has explained to me that it’s not important if Katrina doesn’t finish, since she is nowhere near that level of Math in her Chinese school. Even though I explain this point to her, Katrina refuses to quit. One day the poor girl started tearing up because she couldn’t understand a concept and I thought my heart was going to break. She doesn’t care if she’s younger—she wants to learn. Bottom line.

The F4 girls­-F4, Step Ahead Level 16:

I’m actually a little sad writing this right now. As of Friday, my F4 class will be officially graduated and done with Hess. As the highest level students in the school, these kids have been a lot of fun. They’re practically fluent in English, which makes my job a whole heck of a lot easier. As my Chinese teacher recently pointed out, they basically teach themselves. We’re there as more of a safety net or guide. And for the 4 girls in that class, especially considering they’re now in Jr. High, they find nothing more interesting than music and boys. And naturally teasing me every opportunity they get. They alternate between making fun for not having a girlfriend, for having lines in my forehead, or my wardrobe choices. Sometimes it almost feels like I never left home, and the role of my brothers have been replaced by these 4 girls. But their teasing is all in good fun and not hurtful. And I naturally have to tease back, making fun of the fact they love Twilight and Avril Lavigne. And on some topics we actually agree—like when we came to the same conclusion that Taiwanese boys are “sissy” (their words, not mine). Certainly, as the smartest students I have and the ones I can talk the most freely with, these girls will definitely be missed.

Honorable Mentions: ChaCha, McQueen (yes, McQueen), and Chen-Chen are also favorites of mine—based solely on the fact that they have awesome names.

Religulous

Ah, September. A great month for a number of reasons. Professional and collegiate football have kicked off, MLB playoffs are rapidly approaching, the heat has started to subside slightly, and my flights to Thailand and back home are just around the corner. Perhaps most importantly, the arrival of September has meant that I survived August—which was, of course, Ghost Month here in Taiwan.

I didn’t know much about religion in Taiwan before I came over. Thanks to my East Asian history classes in college I figured there existed a mix of Confucianist, Buddhist, and Taoist elements—but to be entirely honest, I didn’t really know what any of them entailed. Apart from the mostly forgotten information I gleamed from those classes, the only other reference I could remember to Asian religion were Buddhist monks in The Hangover II.

Long story short, the religious scene in Taiwan isn’t like the religious scene in America. You’re not going to find lunatics on a soap box predicting the impending Second Coming, nor is anyone going to make outrageous claims that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. People aren’t at each other’s throats over any “Ground Zero Mosques” or anything like that. Religion presents itself in a very unique manner here. 

For one, religion here tends to be very superstitious. And I don’t mean this in a judgmental way. It’s simply the truth.

Take a few weeks ago, for example. As I mentioned earlier, it was Ghost Month in Taiwan—a time when apparently the souls of those passed away come up to the earthly realm to beg for food, find peace, etc. etc. I was sitting at my desk at school, grading homework and minding my own business. Suddenly my Chinese co-teacher screams, runs out the door, and then breaks down in tears on the sidewalk. What happened? Well, apparently she was glancing at a picture on the computer when she saw a little girl come into the picture, look at her, and gesture towards some candles in the picture (which apparently suggests that this particular ghost-girl was hungry). Creepy, right? Even though I choose not to believe in ghosts and such, I was tripped out. Until August concluded, I felt similar to how I felt after I watched The Ring for the first time—constantly checking around whenever I was by myself.

But that’s just one telling example of Taiwanese superstition. There are many others I’ve witnessed, many of which concern death. I’ve found out the hard way that writing someone’s name in red ink is pretty much condemning them. It only took a near mutiny by my students to help me understand that mistake. Also, if you either stick your chopsticks straight up in a bowl, or rest them at a 45 degree angle, this is also an omen of death (because it resembles incense burning). Locals also regularly burn Heaven Money, which is ostensibly meant to provide financial security to loved ones in the after-life. Non-death related faux pauses include eating the last piece of something (which naturally means you’ll never get married) or shaking your leg (which means you’re destined for a poverty-stricken life). Frankly these are all very humorous in how ridiculous they sound. But at the same time they remind me of some of the kooky things we sometimes believe in—like when our moms used to tell us “to not make that face or it will get stuck that way”, or that “cracking your knuckles will make them bigger.”

For a second thing, the religion here is almost inextricably linked to the culture. Whereas in the States we have separation of church and state, in Taiwan it’s the opposite. The temples are as culturally significant as they are religiously. And many of the local holidays have a spiritual or mythical foundation, such as the Mid-Autumn Festival that just passed—where the Taiwanese celebrate by giving offerings to the Moon Goddess. 

This will be one of the more unique aspects of Taiwanese culture I miss when I go home. Especially considering there tend to be a lot of delicious treats that accompany these holidays :)